Strong?

At least, that's what I'd like to think I am. So as expected, I can't fall asleep right after my shower. So here I am...

We have been contacting. But I know it's never gonna be the same again. Upset as I may feel, I'm thankful we don't have to avoid each other cos of that. It's not worth losing the friendship we had.

I actually thought I could let go quite easily. But when I saw photos of him and someone else, I felt the ache. It was only till I realised they were just friends did the ache disappear. I know I'm in an unhealthy situation. And I'm not sure why the ache is still there. I thought I was numb, numb till I'm unable to feel a thing. And I thought it would just pass.

But apparently, it's not yet over for me... But I know I'll be fine. I probably just need more time to let it go... I need to battle with the voice in my head that's telling me to be patient and hang on. Cos I want to move on. I want to meet someone else who actually would make me feel like I mattered more than the other way round. I want to show him that I have survived without him. I want to show him that it's his loss for giving up. I want him to know I'm better than he thinks I am. I want to pick myself after a hard fall and let my scars heal.

And FYI, I'm not crying... I'm just trying to make myself accept the facts and MOVE ON. It's harder cos there's just too many sweet memories in my head. But I will... Cos I want to...

Cos I'm stronger than you think I am...