My gut feeling sucks!

Once again, it has disappointed me. Once again, I'm left to face the music alone. Even though, I know I won't be alone. But I'm still kinda alone, facing the pain.

I have myself to blame, really. For being too open, for not making sure when everything was still in the early stages. I let myself sink into it, thinking he could be different. I was wrong...

But the damage is already done. He already broke through my walls and escaped with a piece of me, which I willingly allow and refused to see the truth. That I'm probably just another of his ego boost. That I probably am not important enough for him to fight for.

I don't think I'll let anyone in for the time being. I need to clean up the mess he made. Till then, I'll be strong. The hurt will disappear one day. And I'll be braver than before. I'll return with a reinforced heart, immune to small heartbreaks.

I'll remember the happy stuff we had, till I find someone else who's willing to make me happy again. The good thing is, he just made me even more determined to leave the country after I graduate. And I'll work towards that goal. Even more determined than ever.

No more distractions now. No more late-night walks and talks. No more army talk. No more shoulder to lean on. No more happy pills. No more firework show. No more food expeditions. No more frequent movie-watching. No more stories.

I'll miss it, but I'll get over it.

We both lost, to the definition of 'friends'.

And...

Teddy will protect me... =)