Daydreaming...

Sometimes, I wish I could run away to somewhere foreign, meet someone new and just stay there. I wish I could feel less responsible for everything here and just not be bothered about it. I've envied my brother... Used to, anyways. Cos he could have the heart to leave everything and start a new life somewhere else. As for me, there are just some things I can never let go of...

Like, my lovely parents and my angels around me. Like, my cosy little room where I hide from it all. Like, my darling wabbit...

And I can never bear to see or hear the disappointment my parents would experience...

Sometimes, I hate myself for being so weak. Everything matters too much to me that I can't seem to be able to cope with it. I sometimes feel as if I'm sinking together with everything upsetting when people expect me to be the life buoy.

Cos once in awhile, I want someone to be my life buoy... I want people to know that I'm not alright even though I say I am. I want people to just stand by my side and listen to me grumble about everything unhappy. I want people who would go to places with me. I want people to be able to tell I'm unhappy without me saying. I want people to be able to cheer me up and make me stay that way. I want someone who makes me laugh. I want someone who could tell whatever I'm thinking of without me saying.

I know it sounds impossible and I know I'm greedy. But I'm just hoping that this person exists... Because I believe that whatever I want, I could do it too...

Someone once told me I'm the biggest angel among his angel friends. That, till now, never fails to put a smile on my face... That, till now, makes me believe that everything is not too far off away...

Before that someone appears, I'm my own life buoy... Bobbing up and down in the ocean but always staying afloat... I won't sink... Cos there's so much more out there for me to see, feel, hear...

Life, is not about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself...