I've got a 101 things to do and it's just the first week of school. And I'm freaking pissed. Mostly cos I just got home and saw an entire truckload of garbage parked in the balcony. And NOOOO, nobody had the decency to bring it downstairs. I had to put my bag down, grabbed stuff to throw and bring it down on my own! And I'm already sweating my arse off! And my eff-ing eczema is irritating the f*** out of me. And so are my eyes! I seriously hate the f***ing weather!
After that, I returned to my room, to find another truckload of garbage parked in my room. The bed was a mess cos my mom decided to let the pillows, bolster and teddies out for a suntan, and she just threw everything back on my bed without arranging. The garbage was, well, my garbage from my old room. Apparently someone decided to clean up his room and threw out my stuff from there.
Nobody in this f***ing household knows what I'm going through. I seriously don't like to come home these days, especially with him around. I just keep getting reminded of things whenever I see him even though I act alright. I know I'm not. And I know I can't stay for long. I'm seriously considering signing the sponsorship bond just to get my monthly allowance and move out of this shithole.
It's that, or trying to convince myself to stay for another 3-4 years and everything will be alright blah blah blah and then the big move to Japan.
It's time to test my patience again, isn't it? Those 2 and a half years of my life was probably the most peaceful I've felt. And now, it's back to reality.
And to add on, I've just been nominated leader of the class. And I can't back out cos I don't have a choice. It really sucks to be me, doesn't it?
And probably in a couple of hours, I'll be in a different mood and everything will be fine again. PROBABLY. Seriously, I'm kinda sick and tired of my life right now. But I'm trying to stay positive. Not because I need to, but I have to, in order to save whatever sanity I have left in me.
It's amazing I'm not schizophrenic or bipolar.
"Promise yourself to be strong and that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true."
"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles." -Helen Keller
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
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